There is a short answer to this question and it is “no, but it can be even better!”. For new mothers, especially first time moms, sex is not on top of their priority list the first weeks, or even months, that the baby is born. After all, in most cases doctors suggest avoiding sex for six to eight weeks after a vaginal birth and it can be a bit more for caesarian sections, due to the longer healing time. But after those first weeks pass, you will start missing the intimacy with your partner, who is now also the father of your child. Even if you are too preoccupied, he is most likely going to remind you that you used to do more exciting things than breastfeeding and diaper changing in the bedroom.

Your body is different
Most new moms are hesitant to have sex with their partners after birth, because they are well aware that their body has drastically changes. Even if the episiotomy has healed nicely and the caesarian section stitches are out, there are other parts of a mom’s anatomy that she might not be comfortable with. Newly acquired stretchmarks, a bit of extra skin around the tummy, wider thighs and waist and maybe a bit saggier breasts, especially if the mother does not breast feed- breast feeding makes the bonus breast look last much longer- are just some of the things that might make the new mom feel not at all like a love goddess. If this hits home, then make sure to talk to your partner about the way you feel. It is important for them to understand that you still like them and love them, but you need some time to get to know and love your new body as well. You can get yourself a pair of new underwear that flatter your new silhouette or even remember your college years and enjoy quickies with your clothes on!

You are a mom
This fact might affect your husband more than it affects you. You see, a few months ago you were his lover, his partner in crime and lustful games, his Kama Sutra companion. Now, you are the mother of his child. So you are a mother. Much like Mary was a mother to Jesus and his mom is a mother to him. Mothers are sacred, right? Well, yes, in a sense. But you can explain to your partner that if he wants to show his respect for you, he can do the dishes and take out the garbage and feed the baby every once in a while. This is a great way to show how much he appreciates you! You can also remind him that you are a mother, but not his mother, which makes a huge difference. If you are still pregnant, don’t worry, maybe your partner belongs to the category that finds mommy curves sexy and irresistible.

You are dead tired
Both of you. I mean, if you have read one single book about parenthood during your pregnancy, then you already know that newborns don’t sleep. Well, they do, but only when you are awake. So it is completely normal to be super tired and stressed out the first months, not knowing how to handle the new little human in your house. It is totally fine. You just need to accept that you cannot be porn stars and amazing parents of a new born at the same time (no offense to porn stars who do just that: I have great respect for you!). There is a solution for that and it is cold grandma, grandpa or daycare. IF you could take off a few days, it would be ideal. The first one you will probably be just sleeping, but by day three you might have enough energy for some baby-making (don’t you ever learn where this leads?!).

It gets better
It totally does. Because you will soon start losing your baby weight, you will be more proud than terrified of being a parent, you will connect more with your partner, while raising your little monster. Also, as your baby starts sleeping more, you will be more rested. And soon enough you will realize the amazing accomplishment of your body and will want to treat it with some of those big “O”s!