Have you discovered that your husband has been unfaithful? Are you trying to figure out how to cope? Your first instinct might be to walk away from the marriage, but there are several ways to cope with the problem before deciding to end the marriage. Before you do anything you might regret later, these seven steps will help you make a wise decision and become in control again:
1. Pause and Take Time
One of the worst things that you can do is to behave irrationally. When you discover that you husband cheated, you will feel a whirlwind of emotions and you will not know how to respond. The best thing to do is to pause and get your emotions under control. If you act rashly, you might do something you regret.
2. Talk to Each Other
Problems are not solved with silence. You should talk to your spouse about what happened. Ask when the affair began and how long it has continued. You can ask about whether or not your spouse loves this person. You can also ask if your spouse will end the affair? You can even ask why your spouse started the affair in the first place. You need to have the facts before you can make your own decision.
3. Talk to a Trustworthy Person
You need to have a person that you can vent to and trust. This could be a friend, family member, even a therapist or the pastor at your church. It might be hard to actually say what you are feeling, but by saying the words, you will begin to heal and work through the process of decision making. If you do not have a person that you can talk to, write your feeling and thoughts in a notebook. It is vital to get the emotions out so that you can think clearly.
4. Manage Your Own Emotions
Once you have vented and been able to calm down to think, you need to get your emotions in order. You will have to think about the status of your relationship and if it is worth continuing. Trust will be a big factor in your relationship and whether or not you will ever be able to trust you husband again will be something you have to manage. This is one time when it is wise to listen to your heart.
5. Counseling Helps
Going to a licensed therapist for marriage counseling is good way for a couple to work through an affair. Therapists how to help couples get through the feelings, especially the anger and humiliation, and get to the root of the problem. A good therapist will help guide you to the best choice, while helping you protect your dignity and emotional fragility.
6. Life Will Go On & You Will Survive
If might seem like the end of the world arrived when you heard the news, but in reality, you will survive this period of your life. Troubles like this can help build character and show us what we are really made of. Your relationship might end up being stronger than it ever was before, or it might not. Regardless of the outcome, you will survive.
7. Take Better Care of Yourself
Marriage is supposed to be sacred, but all too often, one of the partners creates problems with respect and loyalty. It is important for partners who are cheated on to take care of themselves. If your husband continues to cheat, then you will need to make the decision that is best for you. It is very difficult to have a relationship with a spouse when he has an on-going relationship with someone else.