One of the main reasons why many young marriages don’t last is because within the first three years the relationship becomes stale and boring. This is the plain truth, revealed by a series of marriage experts and divorce counselors who composed a list of top three reasons why divorce has become so rampantly common amongst newlyweds. “Boredom leads to other issues such as infidelity, dishonesty, and loss of attraction” Says marriage counselor and behavioral psychologist Wanda Stanke
However, knowing that this is the #1 cause of divorce and marriage termination amongst couples under the age of 25 does not prevent these issues from happening. Many couples become engaged and then married believing that they are the acceptation to the rule, only to find out within a few short months that they are in fact perfect examples of where these issues come into consideration. The reality here is that nobody is exempt from human behavior, especially when they are young and life is still fast paced. The unfortunate fact being that before these couples have even given themselves a chance to settle into a life together they are giving up on that life. This is because upon the first sign of these major problems, young people tend to scatter out of fear instead of facing the facts directly.
Keep The Spark Alive In The First Years of Marriage
One thing that many marriage counselors advise is that throughout their lives husbands and wives learn how to “date” one another. Even though you are already married there are certain things that should not be neglected especially your interest in your spouse. As you grow together as a married couple, you need to make an extra effort to court one another romantically and keep the spontaneity and romantic flare alive.
You’d be surprised how many couples just simply forget what its like to be in love, and become disenchanted with the entire concept. Marriage, should be just as exciting as dating if you are doing it right. Try to recollect how you behaved when you were first together and make a conscious effort to revisit those activities frequently.
Random Gestures Of Affection
We aren’t talking about dry remarks of “I love you” in the morning and right before bed. The number one thing that spouses desire is to feel appreciated and loved no matter how long you have been together. Announcing an unexpected night on the town, to sending a sexy text message there are plenty of ways to surprise your husband or wife and make them feel like they are still the only one for you.
Maybe I am speaking more to the men here * ahem * than the wives but everyone could probably benefit from a lesson in common courtesy. Remember when you were first dating and you only wanted to impress them with your best self. Well that guy (or girl) needs to make a sudden reappearance if you want your marriage to last. Hold open the door, hold in the farts, reach for the bill, and tell the lady (or man) that she looks beautiful.
Gifts and Special Occasions
Although every day of your marriage is a special occasion, it can become pretty easy to forget that, so when an actual special occasion rolls around you better be on the ball. Buying gifts that are thoughtful is different then buying something that the other one needs or is going to buy regardless. Socks are not gifts, Groceries are not gifts, skipping a night out with the boys the help with the kids, yup still not a gift.
Gifts should come from the heart; remember when you bought flowers for your girlfriend for a date just so you could see the look on her face. That’s a gift.
Women can learn something here too, Sex isn’t a gift and neither is baring children, or doing their laundry. You have to find ways to surprise your husband if you expect him to surprise you.